Big Fat Brunei Wedding

Re-edited (had read my post and then cried because I made so many mistake it was hilarious)

A big Fat Brunei wedding- old school

Includes

1. Merisik

2. Bertunang

         Malam berjaga jaga

3. Berbadak-badak Mandi

4. Berinai

5. Berdikir

6. Nikah

7. Sanding 

         Acara becuci Kaki

8. Ambil ambilan 

9. Mulih tiga hari

In the old days( but for some bruneian still do this) Brunei Wedding is complicated. Why? because of the many events that takes place before and after the wedding.

Merisik means asking. So it is a time when a groom and his parents/guardian will come over the bride's to be house and ask the Bride's family about the woman in question marital status. Is she is available for marriage or is she already engage or already married. Usually Bruneian will know if  lady is married since it is always a grand occasion. You should not ask the hand in marriage fo an engaged lady as it is 'Haram' In islam forbidden to do so (please find a single girl- there are many in Brunei waiting to be plucked).

Bertunang- so she is available. It is time to set the date. It is customary that the bride's and groom's family will set the date. Bertunang is usually held  usually on Friday or Sunday, or Thursday night or Saturday night.  This is also a day when the ladies will give them their "permintaan" (what they like to have as a gifts during their wedding).

Compulsory List
Cincin tanda tunang +100 BND (A gold ring +100BND)
Cincin Pembuka Mulat +100BND (a gold ring +100BND)
Mas Kahwin (like a dowry could Vary 100-600 BND)
1 Kaïn Jong Sarat
Belanja Hangus 1000/2000/3000/...6000

Non Compulsory list
Handbag
Shoes
Perfume
gadgets
just presents whatever they like.

Malam berjaga-jaga- nights of awareness (direct translation) basically family and extended Families of the bride will come to her house  to stay and help out with cutting the onions, meat preparation, deco and stuff. But nowadays people will come for parties (food lots and lots of food until you cannot stand). The groom's family can do the same. Some families will organise singing competition, lucky draws, drawing and colouring competition for kids and many more. Karaoke competition is also in the list and this can carry on till 2, making these family members walking zombies in the morning.

Berbadak badak mandi- another event. bride will shower in water especially prepared for a princess, with flowers of different kind, pandas leaves and limau kasturi (lime). The penganggun  (the lady in waiting) will scrub her skins with rice scrub. Then she will have her shower.  four small girls will stand with four candles to shine her in this harmless ritual. Then once dressed she will sit on the pelamin (stage for the bride and groom) as her elders put powder on her palms. They said this ritual is to increase her beauty and aura.

Berdikir and berinai -is nearly the same as the berbadak bad mandi but this time the bride and groom will be given henna on their palm and fingers to signify that they are getting married. A group of "pendikir"(a harmonious praise for allah) readers will continue untill this event finishes.

Berian and nikah (highlight)-the groom will come and sit infant of the imam/ kadi (the person who will officiate the couple's marriage) as he sits he will listen to a sermon about the responsibilities of a husband and wife. Giving them the final piece of education to remind them of what is ahead. The groom will hold the right hand of the kadi and read the aka nikah (i do)

Sanding (the biggest highlight)  where visitors are about 500 to 1000 per side of the of the bride or groom, or all altogether. Then the ceremony will continue with the bride arriving first to the stage. the groom will be led by an elder. The groom led by the elder to do pusing naga (direct translation the dragon turn-cool name right- but it is just turning around). Then they walk to the stage. The bride will have her face covered with a fan and as the groom came close her face will be revealed (ooo ahhh).

I am getting tired of describing this . but am not finish yet.

some bride and groom that originate from Tutong district will have bercuci kaki (washing their feet). The groom and the bride will have their foot overlay with each other on top of a permarang and ash-asahan (the stone we use to sharpen a knife and a machete ) and water is poured over their feet. anybody who wanted to pour water over their foot will have to give a bit of money $$$ (lovely right they could use it for their honey moon).

nite came and Ambil-ambilan it an event that follows. They all eat again. But before they eat the groom side will come with more gifts. And as they bride and groom sits on their throne (as if- a small stage) the groom side will come with gift for the bride- in a form of jewellers . Yup the bride gets gold -lots of gold (if the groom side is rich of course) if they are not so then it is ok and nobody holds a grudge.

Mulih 3 hari-(back after 3 days staying at the bride's house) is a dying tradition. The bride prepares clothes for the man and this he will ware and bring his bride home to see his father and mother.